Hello There, Stranger!

You know what's awkward? When you're just walking, minding your own business, and some stranger takes it upon themselves to give you a nice greeting. And then there's that moment of panic when you wonder a) if you know this person, b) why they're talking to you, and c) if it's possible they aren't talking to you after all, as their friend is walking five steps behind you. Awkward.

Today, I was walking down the hall in the institute building, as I often do, headed to - actually, it doesn't matter where I was headed to. It won't change the story. But since I brought it up, and it's possible you are in fact wondering where I was headed, I shall tell. The bathroom. I was headed to the bathroom. Now you know. So here I am, walking past the stairs. I see a person on said stairs and instinctively look up to see if I know this person (which is funny, because I don't know that many people at the institute. Nor do I care to). I don't know this person. Then this person says, "Hello." There are several reasons I can think of for this.

Reason 1: They know me. We can rule this one out, as I've already decided I don't know them.

Reason 2: They think they know me, when, in fact, they do not. I guess this is a possibility.

Reason 3: They are just a kind soul who enjoys greeting the passersby in a warm and friendly fashion. Also a possibility.

I think after they said "Hi" I looked at them weird, then sort of mumbled "Hey" over my shoulder as I walked past. It was uncomfortable for everyone.

Welcome to Weber

Another first week of school post! Huzzah! 

My first week was actually not as awkward as I was planning for, which we can count as a fantastic success. I have yet to walk into the wrong classroom (and even if I did, I'm pretty sure I would just stay in the class until it was over, just to avoid looking like a crazy yahoo who ended up in the wrong class like some kind of idiot who can't read  classroom numbers or clocks), so that is excellent.  But that's not to say I haven't had a couple awkward moments. Let's begin then, shall we?

Anthropology - Class Numero Uno

I'm actually quite liking my Anthropology class (Language and Culture, in case you were interested). It's kind of a blend of anthropology (study of humans) and linguistics (study of language). It's is really interesting. At least, the first three days have been. And, as a special bonus, there's a pretty cute boy who sits kitty corner up from me. He looks like Carey Elwes, but cuter and buffer.

THIS is Carey Elwes. Familiar? That's because he's Wesley from The Princess Bride.
You're welcome. That would have bothered you, and you know it.

I'm an awkward soul. But when I'm around an attractive guy, the awkward levels increase. Totally unnecessary. On Wednesday the prof made us do a stupid "get to know the people around you" thing. Remember how I hate those? So so much? Just kill me, please. She made us talk to three people sitting around us and ask them why they took this class (which really isn't that bad, but still requires me to talk to the people around me). And I'm thought to myself, Hey. This is an excellent excuse to talk to Carey Elwes. And then I laughed to myself (silently), because I know I'm not talking to him. Come on now. I'm Anna. I don't do that. So instead, I decide to talk to Girl #1 (see Diagram A below). So I talk to Girl #1, then Girl #2 because she's conveniently located. I'm planning on next talking to Girl #3, but I can see that Carey Elwes is talking to her, and almost done. Which means that he's all turned around in his seat, facing my direction-ish. And, if I weren't Anna, I could turn around and have a perfect set-up for talking to Carey Elwes. However, I'm Anna, so I don't want to do that. And I formulate a plan to avoid talking to this attractive boy. Here's what's going to go down: I'm going to turn quickly and look at the clock (located directly behind Girl #3), Carey Elwes will see I'm looking at the clock and turn to talk to Scantily Clad Girl (which he may have done anyway, regardless of my clever plot), and I look down - boom, there's Girl #3, and we are good to go. On paper, the plan is pure genius. In practice? Not so much. I turned my head too slowly, and I timed it just right to make eye contact with Carey Elwes, and apparently instead of screaming, "Stop! Don't talk to me! I'm weird!" my facial expression said something like, "Hey, do you want to talk?" So then we talked, and I think I was fairly normal. So this story doesn't illustrate so much the awkwardness of the situation (which really wasn't super awkward) as much as the awkwardness of me. It's ridiculous, right? How I turned a normal situation into weirdness? Slice of life, my friends. This is my existence. Turning normal into weird.

Diagram A

Class Numero Dos: Music

My Music class begins exactly 10 minutes after my Anthropology class is supposed to end, which poses a couple of problems.

Problem 1: My Anthropology professor likes to talk, and ending exactly on time isn't really her thing. So we end up getting out around 11:22. It may not seem like much, but those are two precious minutes when you're in a hurry.

Problem 2: I am paranoid beyond paranoid. If I'm not at the very least five minutes early to class, in my mind I'm late. The walk from Anthro to Music is about 4 minutes. Cutting it very close.

Problem 3: There are 180 kids in my Music class, which means every single seat in the lecture hall is filled. If you aren't early, you're not getting a seat. Or you're standing in the back awkwardly, scanning the rows for an empty chair. I hate that. And I'm also a weirdo who compulsively sits in the same seat every time. That doesn't work when you're hunting for a set three minutes before class starts. 

All this combined practically gives me an ulcer. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Class Numero Tres: Psychology

Again with the early thing and the seat thing. I got to class 10 minutes before it started the first day and it was already half full. So, in a moment of paranoia, I took the very first seat I saw available. Once I got myself together enough to pay attention to the class around me, and I realized I sat in the seat right behind my cousin's ex-girlfriend. That was weird. I don't really talk to my cousin that much, and I don't think I've ever spoken to his ex (though she was at my house once for a family reunion. That was weird. Here's a little hint for you - Unless you're married, engaged, or seriously considering marriage, don't bring your significant other to family functions. It just creates awkwardness). It really wasn't much of a big deal, except that I felt weird. Oh, and then I saw the same girl at my cousin's (not the one who was her boyfriend, his younger brother) football game last night, sitting next to my aunt. Talking like old chums. I always think it's so weird when people stay in contact with their ex's family. Why do they do that? I really don't get it. Once you've cut the cord, cut it for good.

That's the awkwardness of last week in a nutshell. Cute, right?

The Joys Of Provo

One week ago today I moved back down to Happy Valley to continue my further education. In case you have never had the opportunity to visit Provo, I will warn you  before forehand: Provo is an awkward place. It's a great place to attend college, but the massive amounts of co-eds make for a very awkward city, which can also be very fun. Now it may seem that I have set this post up beautifully to explain the world's most awkward situation I have found myself in this past week, but unfortunately, I can only satisfy your curiosity with a few short awkward moments.

Awkward Provo Moment Number 1:

This year I am living in the Moon Apartments with three other girls. A couple of days ago I decided that the large amounts of crumbs on the kitchen counter and the ants crawling about the floor demanded some attention from the four human beings residing in said apartment. So I pulled out a bright orange Crayola and scribbled out a note: "Please clean up after your self. Thanks! ie: wipe down the counter. :)" I didn't really think this note through all the way before slapping it on the front of the fridge. I mean, I barely even know these people that I live with now and I am already bossing them around like I'm their mother. I explained the note to two of my roommates that night, but the third one I haven't seen a lot of, so she didn't get her explanation until today. So this morning before my classes I walk into the kitchen and she's making cookies. So I go "Hey I feel like I need to explain this note I put up on the fridge... So I am really not a Nazi roommate or anything. I am not super strict about being clean.... I just don't want to have to get stuck with one person cleaning the apartment all the time..." Luckily, she was totally cool about it. So really a crisis was averted. I briefly considered just leaving the note or taking it down and not saying anything, but I'm glad I just said something because she said that she and her friend had been wondering where the note came from...
APMN2:
Provo students are big fans of acronyms. There is an acronym for just about every building and this can get very confusing, especially for the freshmen. One day on campus, a girl  approached me and Bree and asked us where the TLBD or some crazy mixing of letters was. Our blank stares did nothing to ease her awkwardness of having to ask. We did finally figure out that she was asking for the Talmage building, which is one of the few that does not have an acronym. The only other awkwardness was our hilarious attempt to explain where the building was. (Our directions included a lot of pointing and "Oh it's sandwiched between such and such and such and such....)
Awkward Provo Moment Number 3:
Last night was one of my friend's birthday so she called me up and was like "Hey let's go to this place called Barks..." In my head: The only thing that Barks calls to mind is root beer... what is she talking about?? So I ask her again and it still sounds like Barks so we just go over to her apartment. Have you ever had that awkward moment when you suddenly realize that you are seriously poorly under-dressed for the occasion? The girls there are wearing cute jeans, high heels, and fixing their meticulous hair and make-up when I finally show up in my grungy outfit I wore to school, pony tail, and Converse. Whoops. Luckily we are all pretty good friends so I was like "You know what? Dressing up sounds like fun. I am going back to my apartment and changing." Which was an awkward thing to say, but it would have definitely been far more awkward to stay in my current outfit. As it turns out, "Barks" was really a little place called Sparks, which is the Mormon version of a bar with non-alcoholic drinks. It was pretty hilarious and awesome. (And no, it wasn't a requirement to dress up- that was just part of the fun that my group was going for.) The drinks were things like Peach Martini so it was a peach soda with cream and a peach ring on a stirring stick with sugar (instead of salt in a real martini) sprinkled around the top edge of the martini glass. Classic Provo Mormons.
Awkward Provo Moment Number 4:
This moment will actually be spread over the course of the semester, to the great delight of our small number of readers. In Provo, there are quite a lot of RMs, many of whom have spent two years of their life speaking a language foreign to English. Which leads many of them to use this to their advantage. Knowing another language so proficiency allows them to have a foreign language minor or major and occasionally be given the opportunity to teach their language in a class room setting to undergraduates, even while they are still attending school. Which brings us to my point. I am taking Italian 101 this semester and my professor is one of these said RMs. And he is very attractive. And single. Or at least not currently married. And this is sometimes a problem. Especially when he asks questions in Italian and all you can do is stare blankly... Yeah this is going to be one heck of a semester.