Carey Elwes: Part II

Carey Elwes? Who's that? And where is this Part II thing coming from? I've never read a Carey Elwes: Part I, so this makes little to no sense. You may recall a blog post entitled Welcome To Weber in which I outlined all my classes, blah blah blah. You may not recall said post. In which case, I will give you a very brief refresher. In my Anthropology class, there's a cute boy who looks like Carey Elwes. I had to talk to him. It was kind of awkward. The end. And now, moving forward.

Today in class, it was ALMOST time to go, and the Anthropology professor was yammering on about who knows what, and I was getting antsy to turn in my folder and get the heck out of there so I had a seat in my music class. As per usual. It's 11:20, and she is still yammering. (Brief Side Note 1: I am always in a hurry out of that class, as is Carey Elwes. I don't know what his excuse is. Maybe sheer boredom. Brief Side Note 2: We have these folders we put our work in and turn in at the end of class every Friday. Very similar to a junior high class. But it is what it is.) The antsy-ness is about to catapult me to the front desk and out of the classroom, when she finally wraps it up. As she's saying her last words, I practically leap out of my seat at the back of the classroom to turn in my folder. As it turns out, Carey Elwes did the same thing. So we're both hurtling towards the front of the room, set on a collision course, and get to the front of our rows at the same time. We both stop, obviously. Otherwise we would ram into each other. That would be weird. And then we have the awkward, "You go," "No, you go," moment. More of an eternity than a moment, actually. It felt like forever. So we finally decide that I will go first (because he is a gentleman), I mutter "Sorry," as I pass him, and the awkwardness is ended.

Oh wait. No it isn't. Would that it had ended there.

So now that I've turned in my folder, I am again hurtling at supersonic speeds back to my desk to pick up my backpack and hit the road. Again, Carey Elwes follows my lead. And since our seats are both at the back of the room, we had the EXACT same awkward moment, this time at the back of the room by the door. Literally ten seconds after the first one. We just stood there, looking at each other, trying to decide how to end this madness, thinking to ourselves, "Good grief, this is ridiculous. Also, you are crazy attractive." (That last part may have been limited to my end, but whatever.) Finally he takes the initiative and goes, muttering "Sorry," and smiling like the angel he is. I follow after. The awkwardness is ended. For reals, this time.

I think this wouldn't be such a bad story if it had only happened once. But twice? With that same kid? Who happens to be attractive, which makes me all nervous and stuff? Good grief. It really is ridiculous.

The Idiocy of People

So I figured this blog needed an update so here is my story of the day, not very long but still super awkward! So I have this class called 3-D Design. The teacher is pretty cool but he can be slightly pervert-ish occasionally. But not very creepy, if that makes any sense. So any who we were siting in class today presenting our "cubes" - we had to make cubes out of things. I made mine out of bouncy balls for example. So mine also glowed in the dark but it wasn't dark enough in the class to notice so I said I could stick it in the supply closet and people could look at it. I could tell that he really wanted to avoid the whole closet close space thing, so I dropped it. So then go to the last presentation and hers was a glow in the dark cube. So into the large supply closet 20 people went. So we made it out of the room without any awkward remarks. Or so I thought. I was just out  when this kid behind me says "hey how many times can you say that you were in a closet in the dark with your teacher". Yeah. I mean what can you say after that? Awkward...  I mean really how idiotic was that kid to say that? So lets just say when the teacher said see you next week most the class went running. Well that was my story for the day!

Hello There, Stranger!

You know what's awkward? When you're just walking, minding your own business, and some stranger takes it upon themselves to give you a nice greeting. And then there's that moment of panic when you wonder a) if you know this person, b) why they're talking to you, and c) if it's possible they aren't talking to you after all, as their friend is walking five steps behind you. Awkward.

Today, I was walking down the hall in the institute building, as I often do, headed to - actually, it doesn't matter where I was headed to. It won't change the story. But since I brought it up, and it's possible you are in fact wondering where I was headed, I shall tell. The bathroom. I was headed to the bathroom. Now you know. So here I am, walking past the stairs. I see a person on said stairs and instinctively look up to see if I know this person (which is funny, because I don't know that many people at the institute. Nor do I care to). I don't know this person. Then this person says, "Hello." There are several reasons I can think of for this.

Reason 1: They know me. We can rule this one out, as I've already decided I don't know them.

Reason 2: They think they know me, when, in fact, they do not. I guess this is a possibility.

Reason 3: They are just a kind soul who enjoys greeting the passersby in a warm and friendly fashion. Also a possibility.

I think after they said "Hi" I looked at them weird, then sort of mumbled "Hey" over my shoulder as I walked past. It was uncomfortable for everyone.

Welcome to Weber

Another first week of school post! Huzzah! 

My first week was actually not as awkward as I was planning for, which we can count as a fantastic success. I have yet to walk into the wrong classroom (and even if I did, I'm pretty sure I would just stay in the class until it was over, just to avoid looking like a crazy yahoo who ended up in the wrong class like some kind of idiot who can't read  classroom numbers or clocks), so that is excellent.  But that's not to say I haven't had a couple awkward moments. Let's begin then, shall we?

Anthropology - Class Numero Uno

I'm actually quite liking my Anthropology class (Language and Culture, in case you were interested). It's kind of a blend of anthropology (study of humans) and linguistics (study of language). It's is really interesting. At least, the first three days have been. And, as a special bonus, there's a pretty cute boy who sits kitty corner up from me. He looks like Carey Elwes, but cuter and buffer.

THIS is Carey Elwes. Familiar? That's because he's Wesley from The Princess Bride.
You're welcome. That would have bothered you, and you know it.

I'm an awkward soul. But when I'm around an attractive guy, the awkward levels increase. Totally unnecessary. On Wednesday the prof made us do a stupid "get to know the people around you" thing. Remember how I hate those? So so much? Just kill me, please. She made us talk to three people sitting around us and ask them why they took this class (which really isn't that bad, but still requires me to talk to the people around me). And I'm thought to myself, Hey. This is an excellent excuse to talk to Carey Elwes. And then I laughed to myself (silently), because I know I'm not talking to him. Come on now. I'm Anna. I don't do that. So instead, I decide to talk to Girl #1 (see Diagram A below). So I talk to Girl #1, then Girl #2 because she's conveniently located. I'm planning on next talking to Girl #3, but I can see that Carey Elwes is talking to her, and almost done. Which means that he's all turned around in his seat, facing my direction-ish. And, if I weren't Anna, I could turn around and have a perfect set-up for talking to Carey Elwes. However, I'm Anna, so I don't want to do that. And I formulate a plan to avoid talking to this attractive boy. Here's what's going to go down: I'm going to turn quickly and look at the clock (located directly behind Girl #3), Carey Elwes will see I'm looking at the clock and turn to talk to Scantily Clad Girl (which he may have done anyway, regardless of my clever plot), and I look down - boom, there's Girl #3, and we are good to go. On paper, the plan is pure genius. In practice? Not so much. I turned my head too slowly, and I timed it just right to make eye contact with Carey Elwes, and apparently instead of screaming, "Stop! Don't talk to me! I'm weird!" my facial expression said something like, "Hey, do you want to talk?" So then we talked, and I think I was fairly normal. So this story doesn't illustrate so much the awkwardness of the situation (which really wasn't super awkward) as much as the awkwardness of me. It's ridiculous, right? How I turned a normal situation into weirdness? Slice of life, my friends. This is my existence. Turning normal into weird.

Diagram A

Class Numero Dos: Music

My Music class begins exactly 10 minutes after my Anthropology class is supposed to end, which poses a couple of problems.

Problem 1: My Anthropology professor likes to talk, and ending exactly on time isn't really her thing. So we end up getting out around 11:22. It may not seem like much, but those are two precious minutes when you're in a hurry.

Problem 2: I am paranoid beyond paranoid. If I'm not at the very least five minutes early to class, in my mind I'm late. The walk from Anthro to Music is about 4 minutes. Cutting it very close.

Problem 3: There are 180 kids in my Music class, which means every single seat in the lecture hall is filled. If you aren't early, you're not getting a seat. Or you're standing in the back awkwardly, scanning the rows for an empty chair. I hate that. And I'm also a weirdo who compulsively sits in the same seat every time. That doesn't work when you're hunting for a set three minutes before class starts. 

All this combined practically gives me an ulcer. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

Class Numero Tres: Psychology

Again with the early thing and the seat thing. I got to class 10 minutes before it started the first day and it was already half full. So, in a moment of paranoia, I took the very first seat I saw available. Once I got myself together enough to pay attention to the class around me, and I realized I sat in the seat right behind my cousin's ex-girlfriend. That was weird. I don't really talk to my cousin that much, and I don't think I've ever spoken to his ex (though she was at my house once for a family reunion. That was weird. Here's a little hint for you - Unless you're married, engaged, or seriously considering marriage, don't bring your significant other to family functions. It just creates awkwardness). It really wasn't much of a big deal, except that I felt weird. Oh, and then I saw the same girl at my cousin's (not the one who was her boyfriend, his younger brother) football game last night, sitting next to my aunt. Talking like old chums. I always think it's so weird when people stay in contact with their ex's family. Why do they do that? I really don't get it. Once you've cut the cord, cut it for good.

That's the awkwardness of last week in a nutshell. Cute, right?

The Joys Of Provo

One week ago today I moved back down to Happy Valley to continue my further education. In case you have never had the opportunity to visit Provo, I will warn you  before forehand: Provo is an awkward place. It's a great place to attend college, but the massive amounts of co-eds make for a very awkward city, which can also be very fun. Now it may seem that I have set this post up beautifully to explain the world's most awkward situation I have found myself in this past week, but unfortunately, I can only satisfy your curiosity with a few short awkward moments.

Awkward Provo Moment Number 1:

This year I am living in the Moon Apartments with three other girls. A couple of days ago I decided that the large amounts of crumbs on the kitchen counter and the ants crawling about the floor demanded some attention from the four human beings residing in said apartment. So I pulled out a bright orange Crayola and scribbled out a note: "Please clean up after your self. Thanks! ie: wipe down the counter. :)" I didn't really think this note through all the way before slapping it on the front of the fridge. I mean, I barely even know these people that I live with now and I am already bossing them around like I'm their mother. I explained the note to two of my roommates that night, but the third one I haven't seen a lot of, so she didn't get her explanation until today. So this morning before my classes I walk into the kitchen and she's making cookies. So I go "Hey I feel like I need to explain this note I put up on the fridge... So I am really not a Nazi roommate or anything. I am not super strict about being clean.... I just don't want to have to get stuck with one person cleaning the apartment all the time..." Luckily, she was totally cool about it. So really a crisis was averted. I briefly considered just leaving the note or taking it down and not saying anything, but I'm glad I just said something because she said that she and her friend had been wondering where the note came from...
APMN2:
Provo students are big fans of acronyms. There is an acronym for just about every building and this can get very confusing, especially for the freshmen. One day on campus, a girl  approached me and Bree and asked us where the TLBD or some crazy mixing of letters was. Our blank stares did nothing to ease her awkwardness of having to ask. We did finally figure out that she was asking for the Talmage building, which is one of the few that does not have an acronym. The only other awkwardness was our hilarious attempt to explain where the building was. (Our directions included a lot of pointing and "Oh it's sandwiched between such and such and such and such....)
Awkward Provo Moment Number 3:
Last night was one of my friend's birthday so she called me up and was like "Hey let's go to this place called Barks..." In my head: The only thing that Barks calls to mind is root beer... what is she talking about?? So I ask her again and it still sounds like Barks so we just go over to her apartment. Have you ever had that awkward moment when you suddenly realize that you are seriously poorly under-dressed for the occasion? The girls there are wearing cute jeans, high heels, and fixing their meticulous hair and make-up when I finally show up in my grungy outfit I wore to school, pony tail, and Converse. Whoops. Luckily we are all pretty good friends so I was like "You know what? Dressing up sounds like fun. I am going back to my apartment and changing." Which was an awkward thing to say, but it would have definitely been far more awkward to stay in my current outfit. As it turns out, "Barks" was really a little place called Sparks, which is the Mormon version of a bar with non-alcoholic drinks. It was pretty hilarious and awesome. (And no, it wasn't a requirement to dress up- that was just part of the fun that my group was going for.) The drinks were things like Peach Martini so it was a peach soda with cream and a peach ring on a stirring stick with sugar (instead of salt in a real martini) sprinkled around the top edge of the martini glass. Classic Provo Mormons.
Awkward Provo Moment Number 4:
This moment will actually be spread over the course of the semester, to the great delight of our small number of readers. In Provo, there are quite a lot of RMs, many of whom have spent two years of their life speaking a language foreign to English. Which leads many of them to use this to their advantage. Knowing another language so proficiency allows them to have a foreign language minor or major and occasionally be given the opportunity to teach their language in a class room setting to undergraduates, even while they are still attending school. Which brings us to my point. I am taking Italian 101 this semester and my professor is one of these said RMs. And he is very attractive. And single. Or at least not currently married. And this is sometimes a problem. Especially when he asks questions in Italian and all you can do is stare blankly... Yeah this is going to be one heck of a semester.

1st Days of School

I say the 1st days of school because technically I have new classes on Monday and Tuesday. So the first awkward moment happened in my first class. English.  I originally signed up for an English class called "writing about King Arthur". Now life would have been great if the class had actually stayed about King Arthur. However life is not great so it is now called "writing about popular music" fun.... So I ordered the books. One is about this guy that hates Celine Dion. Now anyone that knows me very well knows that I love Celine Dion. Not sure why I do, but I have since I was oh 8. I even have tickets for her concert in Vegas in January. So now lets begin with the awkward moment. There I was sitting in class before it started discussing the books with my roommate and two rather cute boys. The two boys both were like I can't believe we have to read about Celine Dion, and then one was like hey at least its about how the guys hates her so it might be good. I just sat there silently. Then the class begins and the professor begins to talk about the books and he says who likes Celine Dion. Now I'm not ashamed of my obsession so I raised my hand. (luckily so did a couple other girls). So there I was with my hand raised in front of quite a few cute boys. Not the worst thing that could have happened today, but still awkward... Guess I'll just have to go find some other cute boys!
So as for the second awkward moment, that happened today. I wasn't in class, In fact I had gone to work. So I decided I would take a break and go to the restroom. I walked in and a girl was in there, no big deal, Right? Wrong. I had almost walked past her when she flipped around and said "you're in my ward!" -Okay so let me describe my ward. There is the off campus complex I'm in along with a few other off campus houses. Then we have an on campus building called Eccles C. Now Eccles C is 98% Girls.-  Now back to the bathroom. So here I am  cornered in the bathroom by this girl that I honestly have never seen in my life and if I have, I have no recollection of her. She says again, "yeah you are in my ward!" So I'm quickly like "sure....?  I'm sorry I honestly don't remember you." Luckily she was cool about it and said she recognized me because I taught the lesson in relief society on Sunday. But then began the awkward where do you live? whats your name? okay I guess I will see you at church! and out she went. The sad part is that I honestly don't remember her name and this only happened 6 hours ago. Oh well I'm sure it will bring more awkward moments!

Good News!

Good news, peeps! Annlie and Megan are in on the blogging of awkward frenzy! Now, I know, it isn't quite a frenzy yet. But it will be. Just wait.

The new and improved staff (yes, I am indeed calling it a staff - it makes it sound so much more professional and exciting) of Because Life is Awkward:

Anna - Yours truly! I'm at Weber (Go Wildcats! Just kidding. No one says that) and working at Gold's Gym Daycare (but that's not going to last, I've had just about enough of that dead end job). I live at home. Yay for that. But hey, it's cheap. 

Bree - Bree will be down in Provo (Go BYU! People really do say that) and working in a dentist's office (possibly? I'm not super well informed, so if I'm lying, I am really really sorry). 

Megan - Also at BYU (Go Cougs! I felt like Megan also needed a little "go team" thing thrown in there). And she will be working at the Office Depot in Orem.

Annlie - Annlie is way down south in Cedar City at SUU (Go Thunderbirds!). Which makes visiting a bit difficult, because it's clear down in almost freaking Mexico. Not really. But it may as well be for as often as I feel like taking a quick four hour drive. Sorry Annlie. My bad. She is working somewhere on campus? She's told me where, but I forget. The admissions office, perhaps?

So you see, we've got some good things going here. Look at all those different, potentially hilarious situations! We've got the living at home angle versus the out of home angle, we all have very different jobs just waiting for awkward to happen - this is good. This is going to be really good, peeps.

And now, for your story. And just to be mentioned in passing, the good news spoken of in the title of this post was referring to the addition of Annlie and Megan. Not the story. Because awkward, while entertaining, isn't good news. Ever.

This story is entitled: Get To Know You Games

I just hate those. Don't you? I hate get to know you games. They're so dumb. And I'm verging on anti-social anyways, so forced socialization is never good. I mean, really. If I want to talk to someone, I will. And I don't often want to talk to people I don't already know, so this usually isn't an issue anyways. I know, I know. I sound like a cave troll. I'm sorry. Socializing isn't my thing (but Bree and Annlie and Megan are good little socializers, so the blog will not suffer because of it - we got this all figured out). Sorry. Back to the get to know you games.

Today, after church, we had a Relief Society activity. Which was a little odd, because it was literally right after church in the cultural hall. But whatever. They gave us ice cream, so I can deal. However, I soon discovered they'll only lured us in with ice cream in order to force us to participate in some get to know you game. The worst one ever invented. We've all played this game before, I guarantee it. It's the one where they pass out a list or bingo board with different things written on it like, "has never broken an arm" or "has lived outside of the country". Then you wander around and ask strangers to sign your list next to things they've done. 

It's really stupid because, for one, I don't feel like it's helping me to actually get to know anyone. I'm just trying to get my whole list filled out. I don't spend time being like, "Wow, so you like the color purple? That's really great. My favorite colors are yellow and pink." That is not how it goes down. It's more like, "Do you wanna sign this? scribble scribble Thanks." Lame. 

And for another thing, well, I don't know. I just hate this game. It's so dumb! I used to dread the first week of school for this very reason. I swear, 75% of my classes in high school and junior high started with this game. That's one of the things I love very best about college. No more stupid pretenses about getting to know each other and being friends (unless your social, in which case you can make oodles of friends, I'm sure). I can go, listen to lecture, take my notes, and get out of there relatively unscathed without talking to another solitary soul. It is the best.

So I guess this isn't so much an awkward story as a monologue on the stupidness of awkward get to know games. But you know what? It works.